PART ONE: DIA DEL DELAYS
I knew from the moment we locked eyes that you weren’t going to refuse me service, even though you reserved the right to. I ordered a sweet tea, but little did I know that love was on the menu. We talked about spring break while your coworker filled my cup with the drink of my people. I made you laugh. You made me smile. Before I left, you wrote your number on the back of my receipt. That was awkward. Unfortunately a counter wasn’t the only thing between us. Distance, schedules, and how surprisingly hot you were would ultimately keep us apart. Plus I don’t know how my mom would feel if I brought home a black girl from an airplane McDonald’s. It just wasn’t meant to be.
PART TWO: RETURN TO YANKEELAND
It was nearing 6 AM. Spirit’s flights leave from the most remote part of the airport possible so we had a lot of time to talk once we realized we were going to the same place. I was being friendly because it was Texas and dammit, we’re just friendly people. I asked if you were going back to school. You were going to Iowa State. I’m 95% sure Iowa has its own airport but whatever. I told you where I go to school. We finally arrived at the very last gate. You said my phone was missing something. I don’t think that’s even a real thing. Phones don’t have more than one part. But I try not to discourage people from asking other people out. It’s a brave thing to do. So I let you put your number in my phone. Also awkward. You put an airplane emoji next to your name. I’m glad, because I never would have been able to pick your name out of all my contacts without it. Alas, I don’t think bringing home a black girl from a different airport would be much better. My family’s really conservative and has pretty much already arranged a marriage for me.
• I look great in airport lighting.
• I look like a lesbian in airport lighting.
• There’s a new internet sensation where you hit on the least attractive person you can find then humiliate them and post your conversations online.
• Everyone’s in spring break mode and will hit on literally anyone.
• It’s my magical purple trashbag pants.
• My signature side ponytail is finally a real thing.
• It’s spring break so they had been drinking. Heavily.
• The second one is one of the hundreds who saw my unfortunately popular YouTube response to a Miranda challenge.
• My friendliness is interpreted as flirting.
• Hallucinatory bird/swine flu