I concern myself with happiness everyday. Not just my happiness, but the happiness of others. It doesn’t always manifest itself as worry, as people assume. It manifests itself in phone addiction, gestures, and in ignoring people in the hallway. I am highly trained in the art of evaluating and meeting needs, and that’s what I do. I love it becomes it comes from a place of love, but we’ll get into that later.
It’s amazing how easily happiness becomes stress. Not the happiness itself, but the pursuit of it. We FOMO. We evaluate and reevaluate and over-evaluate whether we’re happy, but not why. Or sometimes we evaluate why and decide to find our happiness without changing anything because we can’t imagine our lives without those troubles.
[How we sabotage our own happiness]
“Letting yourself forget that things aren’t going to last forever — even the parts of our lives that seem eternal, like an apartment or a neighborhood or a group of friends — and that the best time to appreciate how wonderful things are is every time you get a chance to enjoy them. There is no reason to wait until the goodbye party to let yourself feel the full force of how great your situation is.”
One of the things you learn as an actor is to be present in the moment. In my experience, most people aren’t present until there’s a crisis. Daydreams and internal struggles are much more common as uses of our brainpower than appreciating the treasures we get to spend our days with. There’s no chance you’ll be surrounded by the same people for the rest of your life. If you love some of them, shouldn’t you enjoy that and let them know?
I’m not some kind of happiness expert, but I am for the first time in my life overwhelmingly happy. There’s an undercurrent of happiness in me no matter what the situation is. I went through almost a decade of complete turmoil where happiness was a special occassion. I came out of this because I realized how much love is really worth. This sometimes comes out as clinginess and desperation. Once my eyes were opened to how valuable people are to me, I had a hard time putting on the “social acceptability” goggles. I’m obsessed with loving people.
Every time I do something to contribute to a friend being happy, I feel fulfilled. I don’t do it for the thanks; I do it to see happiness. I have anxious moments where I’m concerned the gesture didn’t make someone happy or even did the opposite. I follow up not because I want to be praised, but because I want to know if I’ve helped at all. Sometimes there’s nothing to be done, but just being with some people is life-giving for both of you.
I think I just started another post, but my point is that we sometimes forget to be happy while in the pursuit of it. Not every happiness is in the future. Look for things that already make you happy, not things you don’t have that you think will. You’ll be amazed.